thoughts on family

Change is good but at the same time it is good to have consistency. I love that although events and circumstances may change, my family is a great constant in my life. I really value my relationship with my immediate family, and Seth's immediate family. It is so nice to have in-laws whom you understand, respect and love. I also think its great to begin to be friends with siblings once they grow older. For so long, I felt like I was just the oldest sister, the one who had to be responsible, who had to set an example. I think it comes with being the oldest, you feel in some way like the 2nd Mom, its kind of natural to settle into a care-taking role when you get to babysit younger siblings. But, its fun in so many ways to just "hang out" with siblings instead of having to see each other. I look forward to continuing to develop friendships with ALL my siblings, and letting them get to know me as who I really am.

At the same time that my immediate family is becoming more stable, I feel like my extended family is becoming less so. Its a little strange, but probably completely normal. My dad's side of the family were all really close, with a total of 10 cousins, with a total span on 10 yrs, we always went on family vacations together. My mom grew up with 10 siblings, so she always draws the comparison that the Crandall cousins were as close as she was with her bros and sisters. Because of this I developed close relationships with both grandpa (Papa) and grandma (nana). Nana and Papa did a great job in always making time for the cousins and showing each one of us how loved we are.

This next part in our lives, I'm not sure I want to share all of it, but Nana and Papa recently got divorced. Divorced. After 51 yrs of marriage. Who does that? It seems like once you get to a point, you just want friendship and companionship as you transition into retirement and old age. Who wants to be alone after so many years together? But... who wants to be consistently unhappy when you're supposed to be enjoying life? I guess it was a decision that they couldn't be happy together. It is difficult for me, because as an adult grandchild, I feel like I SHOULD be happy for them. I SHOULD be mature enough to realize that an unhappy marriage is no better off than being single. The thing is, I have no idea about what the marriage really was like, I only have my own observances as a grandchild. Its not up to me to judge, and I really don't want to, I just accept what has happened and continue to love both of them. Although I'm not sure how I should act sometimes, I know that sometimes change can bring about great things. I really do hope the best for both Nana and Papa, that they will be able to find happiness and comfort in their decision.